Let's Talk About Sex, Baby
Apparently the American public needs rental cars to transport marital aids, sex toys, men’s magazines and XXX movies. It gets more bizarre: You told us you’ve found not one but a bag of dildos, photos of the renters in “compromising situations,” “penis” lollipops and a male blow-up doll, fully inflated.
Here’s a new ancillary revenue idea: Why not rent the doll to get in the carpool lane?
We found a used condom, which is pretty disturbing, especially because it was a renter we’ve known for awhile. It was very shocking to see that, knowing who it was from. You don’t want to bring it up to them, but you don’t look at them the same way.
Ben Cord, Avis Rent A Car
Palo Alto, Calif.
When I ran Budget at the airport, things echoed quite loudly near the counter. A customer stormed up to the counter and said she “wasn’t about to take that car out there in the airport parking lot because when she put her hand under the seat to adjust it, it went right into a jar of ‘vagina cream.’”
Sharon Faulkner, Thrifty Car Rental
Albany, N.Y.
This Is Your Car on Drugs
Often the items stray from personal use: You told us about finding a drug scale in a CD case, large bags of pot, a box full of cell phones and crack pipes, a Lincoln Town Car full of drugs and $80,000 worth of cocaine.
Our desk agent was bragging about how he was getting such a high rate for a Cadillac Sedan de Ville on the weekends. We later got a call from the police department; our car was involved in a high-speed police chase and it had hit a house. The driver wasn’t hurt but he had 40 kilos of marijuana in the car.
Ron Westley, U-Save
Canton, Ohio
Why not start collecting interest on that cash? An Enterprise employee reported a portable ATM machine in an impounded Chevy Malibu.
We’ve found heroin bags, which are usually blue wax paper bags with a stamp identifying the type, such as “Good Times.” It used to be put in a perfume sampler, with the plug on the end. Now apparently they’re selling the bags with Obama stamps on them.
Dave Haas, Rent a Wreck
Deptford, N.J.
Many of you reported finding large amounts of cold, hard cash, sometimes in the thousands of dollars. Drugs and cash. Think there’s a connection?
We opened the trunk of a returned rental and found a box of Cheez-Its with a glimpse of a $20 bill sticking out. The renter called up in a panic wondering if his car was still at the lot. We found at the bottom of the box under a layer of Cheez-Its two big bricks of $20s rubber banded together. We didn’t want to risk getting our employees involved so when he came in we gave him the box with the money. He was sweating like someone was going to kill him if he didn’t get this money.
Travis Ferguson, Triangle Rent a Car
Chesapeake, Va.
Drugs, alcohol and cars do not mix—why haven’t we gotten that straight? You said you constantly find paraphernalia such as pipes, bongs, roach clips, hypodermic needles, marijuana roaches and rolling papers.
Human Cargo
I rented a Chevy Lumina to a repeat customer and she let someone else take the car. The car got impounded outside of Tucson. The driver got busted for hauling undocumented immigrants. They pulled five people from the trunk. The car was black; I’m sure it was unbelievably hot. Someone had to go retrieve the car. I told the renter that if I go get it, I’d charge her $5 a mile. She went down and got it out of impound and brought it back.
David Ward, Express Rent A Car
Grand Junction, Colo.
Happy Halloween!
Lastly, it is not surprising that rental cars sometimes end up with a dead body. This could be a result of a suicide, a body legally transported with a permit or just a plain old fashioned murder.
Back in the mid ’90s a woman rented a car from us and let her boyfriend use it. She didn’t know he was a serial killer. He used the car to dispose of a body. New York police caught him and impounded the car as evidence. They never gave us the car back. Months later we got a check in the mail and a note stating that we never picked up the car so they sold it at auction. We had to sue the City of New York. We never fully recovered our costs but got a little more money out of it.
Harold Maurer, Epic Car and Truck Rentals
Clifton, N.J.
We found a severed human hand in the trunk of a car while I was working for Right Way Rent A Car in the mid ’70s. We called the cops and they took it away. The car was used in the commission of a crime. Have you seen a car after it’s been fingerprinted? In the old days anyway, it was absolutely destroyed. The fingerprint dust was gray and black and they dusted every panel. It would get filthy. And they’d keep the car for 30 days.
Joe Knight, Fox Rent A Car
Los Angeles, Calif.
We got a car back from the police with a completely bloody interior. It looked like two people shot themselves up in the car. We had to buy a whole new interior, including replacing the seats. At least their credit card was still good.
Mitch Harris, Rent 2 Save
Glendale, Calif.
Here’s hoping you never find a body—and if you do, we hope you get the car back in a timely fashion.
Chris Brown is executive editor of Auto Rental News. He can be reached at chris.brown@bobit.com.
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